I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
