This girl is more easily done than said...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize