So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I checked into jail on foursquare
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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