is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize