There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
