I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
