Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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