found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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