do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
