are you still at the devil's house?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
