You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
