so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
