Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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