That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
