just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
