someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
