so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize