8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize