a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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