Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
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