Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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