dude i'm inner monologue high
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
