No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
