Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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