he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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