i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
