Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she pinky promised me she was 18
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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