Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
