Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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