Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
