Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
