It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
