Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
