So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My liver just had a heart attack.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
