Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
this just has baby written all over it
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
