Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
