It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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