Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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