Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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