physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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