There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
