I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize