there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
