No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
