like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
