come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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