how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
