i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
