Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize