He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
