where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
