So drunk its hurt
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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