I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
