when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
