Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
