Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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