He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
