You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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