While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
